Given the very prescriptive rules around exchanging cannabis “gifts” in D.C., businesses are getting creative with the products they actually sell. Personally, I gravitate towards the D.C. cannabis establishments that sell products that I can actually use and appreciate. This is how Green Kings Photography caught my eye. They distinguish themselves from other D.C. gifters by selling high-resolution, close-up photography related to cannabis. I purchased a digital photograph of beautiful flowers that I now use as my laptop’s background image and I have included on Free Range Kings’ Instagram feed. It is like buying a piece of art. The photographer at Green Kings is ultra-talented, and I look forward to seeing their future work.
After buying a photograph, Green Kings offers you optional cannabis gifts depending on the quality of photograph purchased – ranging from 200 pixels to 2800 pixels. For example, if you purchase a 700 pixel photograph for $100, you have gift options of seven grams of flower of one of six available strains. In addition to flower, you may also be offered concentrate, edibles, and pre-rolls.
If you are interested in purchasing from Green Kings, you start at their web site: www.greenkings.com. After perusing their photographs and gifts online, you send them a text message to specify pick-up or delivery, type of photograph(s) to purchase, and choice of optional gift(s). In addition to this information, they require that you send them a selfie of you holding your ID card. It does not need to be a D.C. ID card, just any U.S. State ID card to verify your age. After they receive your message, they promptly text you with next steps.
The “shop” is not a traditional brick and mortar location. Green Kings’ place of business rotates between several locations in the more affluent parts of D.C. After my initial text to Green Kings that included my selfie and choices of products and gifts, they instructed me to be at a specific address at a specific time and to text them again once I got there. My Lyft ride got to the location twenty minutes early (D.C. Traffic Gods are fickle), and I texted Green Kings as instructed. They informed me they were finishing a transaction with another client and asked me to wait for further instructions. I walked around the neighborhood close to George Washington University, acting as “normal” as possible. I sat on the benches, acted as if I had important business to do on my phone, people-watched, and generally contemplated my choices in life.
After one too many unreturned smiles from walkers in yoga pants, I got a text from Green Kings, giving me three to four specific moves to get to their apartment. I was getting dejavu of my younger days buying nickel bags from my local dealer “E.” I can’t lie – the thought of getting my ass jumped crossed my mind for a second, but I was way more afraid of getting the same low grade skunk crooked “E” dealt in the 90s.
I got to the room and knocked lightly as instructed. An extremely friendly young man that looked like he could be a student at GW opened the door and greeted me with “welcome to Green Kings.” The upscale apartment was nice and clean, and all of the products were neatly displayed on the kitchen island. I was wowed by the selection of flowers, edibles, and pre-rolls, which he detailed almost as intricately as the web site does. For each strain, he could speak to the composition, strain lineage, and typical biological effects you will likely experience. If he told me he was working towards his P.h.D in cannabis, I would believe him.
I reminded him of my gift preference, and he said I was free to choose additional items as a benefit of picking up versus choosing delivery. I added a couple pre-rolls of WiFi to my order. After I asked him if customers ever get spooked by the meeting process, he said no and their clientele included college students, businesspeople, and stay-at-home moms. They have a solid core of repeat customers that are accustomed to the Green Kings process. After chatting it up with the guy, we dapped it up, said goodbyes, and I was on my way.
No other cannabis outfit in DC describes their gifts in as much detail as Green Kings does. They describe the Master OG strain as a “50-50 hybrid strain with potent indica” that is “created by crossing Master Kush with lush strain Empress Kush, resulting in a sour smelling and citrus tasting hybrid flower,” and is “known for being an ideal way to treat conditions such as pain, nausea, and insomnia.” If you read their descriptions in advance of a pick-up or delivery, you really should have no additional questions for them. Their pre-rolls are thicker than most and rolled in sturdy, high-end paper. As far as potency, I left unused Legend OG and Vortex to my DMV friend before flying out, and he texted me a day later, “Bruh, I hit the Vortex and was high for six hours!”
Conclusion and Rating
I have yet to try their delivery services, but I can 100% confirm their pick-up process is efficient and safe. Newbies will still probably be a little apprehensive at first. Also, unless you are located close to the day’s pick-up location, you will need to build the pick-up into your day’s itinerary. The Green Kings associate I worked with was incredibly friendly, accommodating, and knowledgeable. They gift bona fide top shelf strains, for which they can provide more detail than you would ever need to know. I think one of the strains I left with is promised to cure my sleep apnea, eliminate migraines, and do my taxes. The product they actually sell has value, as long as they do not recycle the same beautiful photograph for an extended period of time (I am watching you, Green Kings!). If excellent product and customer service with a splash of that nostalgic neighborhood drug deal feeling appeal to you, I highly recommend trying Green Kings.
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